please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
