we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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