I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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