the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
