This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
