Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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