Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
