you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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