i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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