I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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