Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
