Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
