Dual....:-)
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
