he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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