She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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