Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
