I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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