I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I fill condoms, not promises.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
