respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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