On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize