dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
