Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
