you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
