Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
