your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
