i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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