but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
