what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please don't give away my fajitas
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
