Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
