why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
