"it" just moved
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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