see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
