dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
