so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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