A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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