dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
