i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry about my life...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize