So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
