Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
