So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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