Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
