Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize