guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
