What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
