God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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