had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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