I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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