All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He did a backflip because drugs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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