You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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