Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
