We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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