i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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