I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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