Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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