I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
