All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize