apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
