is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
