A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
