Kiss
Puke
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
