I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
