and you said cock pushups were impossible
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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